Week 34!

6 weeks or less to go!

Week 34: Sept. 17, 2012
154 lbs, Bust 36 ½, Waist 42, Hips 41 ½

I had another appointment with the midwives on Tuesday and once again my BP and protein are great, baby is doing great and I am measuring perfect. So, all is well. I also have been actually having a lot less back, hip and round ligament pain than I have the past few weeks, which is weird, but I’ll take it. 

I also saw a therapist about the birth trauma issues I had been experiencing. I am reading “Ended Beginnings” which is an excellent book about healing past birth trauma. I was astounded by the number of women who consider themselves to have experienced birth trauma – anywhere from a less than ideal labor and delivery (such as unplanned cesarean, premature birth, separation due to a sick child) to miscarriage to disabilities to loss of a child. I am also astounded that despite the numbers of women who have had a traumatic experience, there is such a lack of support and how much other people act like a person has no right to feel traumatized by the experience. 

The therapy session helped to put a voice to my experience. Nothing was really “resolved” and she agrees that I have some issues regarding trauma that I haven’t resolved. I did come up with some ideas to give me peace about it though, not least of which reminding myself that I made it this far in my pregnancy with no complications. Other things that give me hope are knowing that if this labor goes well it will redeem my past experience. I really think that much of the trauma I experienced with Annika will be healed just by having a better experience. I also realized that this time will be different regardless because I am approaching it knowing and believing that God is with me in whatever happens with this pregnancy. Of course I knew this with my last pregnancy, but I wasn’t focused on it and didn’t let it give me peace about the situation. If issues do some up for me I can know I am covered (by God’s peace, protection and redemption).  

Annika and I did something fun this week. We created a labor bag for her. We shopped for little things – puzzles, stickers, a coloring book, etc. for her to get when I go into labor to keep her occupied and also to help with the transition so she doesn’t feel set aside. She loves puzzles and was very excited about the bag and talks about it all the time but understands it’s not for now. She completely gets that it is for when the baby comes. Its adorable. Today she said a cute thing. I told her “I have to pee again” and she said “why” and I told her “just because I have to pee a lot” and she said “because people who are preg-nit have to pee a lot”.  

I am really enjoying these last weeks of pregnancy and spending time with Annika.